Post by LEONARD GRANT HOLMES on May 14, 2017 12:26:41 GMT -6
When Peter shied away, Leo let his hand curl towards his chest instead, holding it as though the action had physically wounded him. "Because I'm an idiot," he offered bluntly. It wasn't the real reason obviously but he wasn't going to fight Peter on the adjective right now. Or about the reason why. He wasn't going to fight with Peter at all. He had no ground to stand on. "I didn't know how to do it without upsetting you."
"DID YOU THINK NOT TELLING ME WOULDN'T UPSET ME?!"
Peter couldn't help the shout. Later, he would probably reflect on the fact that he couldn't recall ever being that loud. Rather quickly, the older boy ducked to the floor and threw his arms over his head. He slammed his eyes shut and tried to fight back the onslaught of tears, but they poured out no matter how much he tried.
Post by LEONARD GRANT HOLMES on May 14, 2017 12:35:38 GMT -6
Leo flinched back at the tone and volume Peter had used. "I was going to tell you once I figured out how..." It was a flimsy excuse but it was all he had to offer. He didn't know what to do when he was the one Peter was upset at. He didnt know how to fix things this time, but he wouldn't stop trying.
He moved a few paces back to lean on one of the bed. "Shes a friend. That's it. I don't want to date her and I certainly don't want to marry her. And she doesn't want to marry me."
Peter didn't respond. He wanted to shout again. He wanted to say, "YOU JUST TELL ME!" He couldn't speak. He couldn't really react. He was feeling things he hasn't felt in a very long time, and even then, he managed not to shout, somehow.
"Then why, Leo? Why are you...why are bee tro'd? It doesn't make sense!"
Post by LEONARD GRANT HOLMES on May 14, 2017 12:46:13 GMT -6
Slowly, Leo slid down the poster of the bed and to the floor as well, pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around them. "Because my father says so. Because I'm a disappointment to the Holmes name and now i have to fix it," his voice shook as he spoke. He didn't agree with what he was saying, only parroting what hed been told several times both in person and I'm letters. But that didn't make him feel any better for it.
Peter didn't move. "That's bullshit," he said, echoing the sentiments he had shared over Christmas. "Why are you just letting this happen, Leo? That's not fair. This isn't fair." He was getting very tired of life not being fair.
Post by LEONARD GRANT HOLMES on May 14, 2017 15:52:36 GMT -6
"Nothing about life is fair," he said bitterly. "This wouldn't be happening if it was." He wasn't sure when he'd become bitter about it and he felt like he was too young for such things but it was too late now. "What would you propose I do instead of just letting this happen? Because I don't see a lot of options."
Post by LEONARD GRANT HOLMES on May 14, 2017 16:08:11 GMT -6
"I can't stand up to him. Hes my father." Not that those things were mutually exclusive, but in Leo's mind they were. His father had always been someone to look up to, to imitate. And it was hard to break that cycle. "I don't have any power in this situation until im old enough to survive without my parents."
Peter looked back down. He knew Leo was right, even if it felt like a punch to the gut and the heart at the same time. "I know, okay," he replied, going back to covering his head with his arms. He felt so hopeless and stupid. "You would be better off without me. Then you wouldn't have to worry about your father." It wasn't what he wanted, but it was what he felt.
Post by LEONARD GRANT HOLMES on May 14, 2017 16:18:02 GMT -6
"A world without you isn't a world worth living in," he said immediately. That wasn't even a question and Leo really wished Peter would stop suggesting he leave. That was the last thing any of this needed. It would be the last straw towards Leo just falling to pieces. "We can do this. It wont be easy but... the best things never are."
Peter choked out another half-sob after Leo's words, but he got it under control rather quickly. He still wasn't used to crying around people, and he thought he never would be. Leo would be his only sanctuary in any case. He hated feeling this way. He hated even thinking this way. He got onto his hands and knees, crawled over to Leo, and put his head in his boyfriend's lap without looking at him as he lied sideways.
"I'm still mad at you for not telling me," Peter said lamely. Most of all, he hated being mad at Leo. Lyanna and Leo had both said they didn't want the marriage, and he had no reason not to believe them. That didn't mean he had to be okay with anything that had happened and would happen.
Post by LEONARD GRANT HOLMES on May 14, 2017 19:00:31 GMT -6
Once Peter was settled into his lap, Leo carefully moved a hand to run it through the other boy's hair, hoping that he didn't shy away this time. Leo wasn't sure he could handle it happening again, even if it happening was totally understandable. He hated everything about today, but it was his own fault that it was even happening to begin with. "I know," he said softly. "I'm sorry."
Post by LEONARD GRANT HOLMES on May 14, 2017 19:18:22 GMT -6
"You had every right to get angry with me. I should have told you as soon as we got back to school," he protested gently. But that was a conversation for another time perhaps, when emotions weren't so high. And probably also with Lyanna present. That seemed like something they should do now. Ugh. "Running away is starting to seem really appealing..."