Post by SULLIVAN ZAKARY OBERYN on Jun 4, 2017 21:03:12 GMT -6
Sully was loving teaching. Once Athena had come back in August, and basically knocked sense back into him, he'd felt much more like himself. He'd like to not attribute it too much to her return, because he didn't like to realize how much he relied on her. But he couldn't argue with the fact that he was genuinely happier when she was around, and a mess otherwise. These were facts of his life.
Over the first few months of term, Athena would sporadically drop into his office as she saw fit, sometimes without any sort of announcement at all. Regardless of the situation, he was always just so happy to see. He'd gone far too many months where his life had been completely void of her presence, and that had honestly been the most painful thing he'd ever experienced. He didn't ever want to be in that situation again.
He had definitely come to realize how serious - and certain - he felt about her. And, he was fairly certain she felt just as strongly. Her actions spoke louder than her words, and she had most definitely worked to show him how serious she was about all of this. She'd even uttered the "L" word - in English - a few times. He didn't take any of it lightly.
Today was another day for a visit, it seemed. As was her custom most of the time, he only learned this fact when she opened his door unceremoniously, her frame filling out the doorway. She seemed a little more hesitant to enter, but Sully brushed it off. Rising from his desk, where he'd been drawing out new flying formations, he went to her side, kissing her gently on the temple and pulling her in the room with him. "Hello, love. To what do I owe the pleasure of this intrusion?" He asked, smirking at her. She knew she never really bothered him.
How the hell had this happened? Scratch that. Athena knew damn well how it had happened. She just couldn't believe how stupid she had been. In less than three months, she'd thrown her feelings to the wind and royally fucked up. She couldn't tell anyone the truth either, not that she did that often anyway. The truth would expose the lie she had everyone believing and it would surely ruin what felt like the best thing to ever happen to her. No one could know what had actually happened. Luckily, spinning lies was basically second nature to her. It would be easy to deal with this. Honestly, she could have just never told anyone but doing so covered her if she slipped later. Not that she really anticipated doing so, but better to be safe than sorry.
Thankfully the timing of things lined up in such a way that the lie basically wrote itself. Everything was only off by a matter of days between the lie and reality. And what did that say about her really? That she was more than willing to sleep with someone and then run back to the arms of the person she claimed to love. Was that actually even love then? She was pretty sure love didn't work that way. If it was actually love, wouldn't she have been in a position where she didn't want anyone else? But then why did her mind always go to him first? Why did being apart make her bones and heart both ache? Surely that meant it had to be. Or was it just enjoying the sheer convenience of having someone around that would make the world move if she asked and expect nothing in return?
Either way, she'd never professed to being a good person. She was a liar, a manipulator. It wouldn't be a stretch to assume she was still doing that, though less knowingly this time. Or maybe she was just twisted and incapable of doing anything purely, even something as pure as loving another person. Regardless of what the answer was, she had actions she needed to take now, quickly before it was too late.
Once graduating from school, Athena had anticipated never setting foot on the grounds again. Then Sullivan had clearly happened and she had never been very good at controlling herself so she found herself inserting herself into his teaching life fairly frequently. Not that he ever complained about it and she never thought that he would. Getting into the grounds was easy, especially as a former student. It would be a bit concerning if she cared enough. Fortunately for her, she didn't, making her way across the lawns to Sully's office with ease. It was only once she was at his door that she stopped. This had to be believable. She had to convince him of her story and then convince him to agree to the next step.
For the first time ever, she nearly knocked, but that was taking things a bit too far, so instead she just opened the door as normal. Once she was in the doorway, her arms wrapped around herself, both to play up what was going on and because she found herself actually nervous now that she was facing him. His small gestures of affection did little to ease the tension she felt, but she leaned into him anyway. It took a moment for her to find her voice. "We need to have one of those serious talks both of us hate," she said after a moment, refusing to look directly at him.
Post by SULLIVAN ZAKARY OBERYN on Jul 22, 2017 11:05:54 GMT -6
He sensed a serious mood about her almost as soon as he tried to pull her to him. Truthfully, they were never the most carefree people - it wasn't in her nature to be too silly, even though he sometimes brought out that side in her. However, when she spoke of a serious talk, he stiffened. He thought they had sorted out all this discomfort. Sure, their relationship was still far from conventional, but they had reached a static point of comfort.
Raising an eyebrow at her, he drew back a little, his relaxed posture now taking a more collected approach, as he was matching her tone. "You know how I super love the serious talks." He said, rolling his eyes a little. He wasn't sure what to expect, to be honest. This sort of talk may have been one he would have once pulled out a bottle for, but he hadn't really touched the stuff, not since she had returned a few months ago. He'd relied too much on the numbness.
Without much flourish, he went to sit on the couch - the same one which had occupied his old office - and waited for her to either join him, or remain standing. He knew it was a waste of breath to open his mouth and prod her on, she would continue at her own pace no matter what. Athena seldom did anything she did not want to do, and he knew better than to question that by now.
When he made to leave her side and sit on the couch it was all Athena could do to not pull him back to her. Even though a large portion of this was planned out and mostly staged she still felt a weird sense of vulnerability. It wasn't like anything that happened from this point was going to change her mind on anything. She'd tell him what was going on and then she'd take care of the problem before it was an actual problem.
Opting to remain standing because she had far too much energy coursing through her to sit next to him on the couch, she paced a bit. It shouldn't be so hard to say two words. Especially two words that wouldn't matter by tomorrow. But a part of her was honestly worried about how he'd take it which wasn't something she'd stopped to consider before now.
Taking a deep breath, she stopped with her back to him, eyes fixed on the wall of the office instead. "I'm pregnant." The words were soft but they filled the small, quiet space easily.
The girl in front of him wasn't the Athena that Sullivan was used to. She was far too formal, far too stiff. He felt his own posture stiffening to match, unsure of what was bothering her. She didn't always share what was on her mind, so it wasn't uncommon for him to be a little in the dark. But, she usually seemed at least marginally more relaxed around him. This coldness was usually reserved for others.
He waited patiently, figuring his prodding would not help. However, it was only a tiny bit of silence - a minuscule fraction of time, really - before she spoke the two words that had already changed his world once before. He was too shocked to move for a moment, but then his brain cleared. Springing to his feet, he ran to her and hugged her, picking her up and spinning her with his excitement. His own eagerness was making him forget momentarily that this was the last thing Athena wanted. "I can't believe this." He said, his voice breathless as he set her down again.
Once the words left her mouth and the room was quiet again, Athena finally looked back at Sully, though that didn't last long before she was being hoisted up into the air. Maybe at some point she'd be as excited as he was, but that point was still years away if it ever happened. It wasn't very likely all things considered.
Feet back on the ground again finally, she looked at him with no mirth in her expression. It was very, very clear how unhappy she was, just from that singular look. "Well it happened," she said as she looked away from him again. She didn't want to see his expression fall when she spoke her next words. "But don't get used to the idea. It's not lasting."
After Sully had set Athena back down, he continued to grin down at her. He was just so excited at the prospect of a little one. His brain wasn't making all the connections that Athena didn't want this - and Athena had never been one to do something she didn't want to. Everything was always on her terms.
At her words though, his head spun a little, his vision going a bit blurry for a second as the emotions set in. It was a quick succession - disbelief. Unwillingness to process the words. Then, shock, as he began to understand. Finally, the desperation. He reached out, grabbing either shoulder in his hands. "Athena, please. You can't. This could be a wonderful thing for you. For us. Bringing a life into the world...it's amazing. It's been the most meaningful thing I've done with my own life. Please. Take some time to think about this. We could make it work. Please, Athena." He said, begging and pleading with her to reconsider.
Coming into this, she had known it wouldn't be easy. She had known that he wouldn't take any aspect of what she had to tell him well. But she hadn't expected to feel guilty about it. It wasn't even his child for crying out loud. She had fucked up and now she was just trying to cover herself.
"This isn't something I want in my life, not right now. Probably not ever," she said, refusing to look him in the eye. "I'm an athlete. I can't afford to take time off for a pregnancy or a baby. I can't risk my body that way. That could be career-ending for me and it's only just begun. Surely you can understand that." She was only nineteen after all, just barely beginning to build an adult life for herself. He might be in a place where he wanted more family, but she wasn't there yet. It was one of those times that the age gap was really prominent and unsettling. What if this led to more problems later?
He stared at her, the wheels in his mind turning at an impossible speed. The rational side of his brain could see where she was coming from. Surely, it could - he was a logical person. However, the emotional side was ruling him right now. The words came out fast and loud and perhaps harsher than they needed to, but the words refused to go without being said.
"Seriously, Athena? Do you ever think of anyone but yourself and your precious career? Female Quidditch players do have kids, and you know that. Just call your actions what they always are - selfish. Once again, you're putting your own desires first and not giving a damn what anyone else says. Which, doesn't matter, by the way. What anyone else says. Because, even though this problem is technically half mine to have a say in, you never planned on granting me that right. Did you?" He was yelling by the end, his rage growing. Grabbing the nearest object he could find - a heavy marble bookend, in the shape of a chess pawn - he chucked it at the wall behind him, away from Athena. It hit with a loud bang, leaving a large dent behind.
Almost immediately her face darkened. It was an action, an emotion, that hadn't happened around him in a long time now. For so long, things had been good, but she wasn't just going to sit back and take him yelling at her. She never had before and she never intended to start.
"Yes, seriously, Sullivan," she said with a low, dangerous voice. "They don't have kids at nineteen. They have them after they've established themselves on the field and in the league. And no, you don't actually get a say in this, because it's not your body. It's mine. I get to do with it what I want, and this isn't what I want. I'm only even telling you out of respect." Most people would have flinched at the bookend hitting the wall, but she just kept her gaze on him, unwavering, fearless.
Having not expected her to be at all impacted by his emotions - as any normal human being would be, by the way - he was not surprised by her response. "Respect? As if you have an ounce of 'respect' for me. Because you know exactly how I feel about this. You knew exactly how I'd react. So, do you care to tell me why you even bothered to tell me? Because, clearly, it is not because you care for me or how I would like to proceed."
He took a second to pause, swallowing the desire to search around the office for a bottle to drink from, only because he knew there wasn't one, he'd made sure of that. "You just came here to feel less guilty. You've done your obligation. You've told me. Does that make you feel better, Athena?"
As quickly as the anger had come, it disappeared again, leaving an ache in its wake. She wanted nothing more than to hold onto the anger, because that was something that she at least understood and knew how to handle. The feeling it left behind on the other hand was basically foreign to her. At the very least it was exceedingly rare when it came to Athena Kastor.
Her gaze moved downwards to the floor, her usual attempt to hide what she was really feeling. "Do you really think that I don't care about you?" she asked, fire gone now. The logical side of her said that he was just speaking from anger, but there was a new emotional side that she'd lost control of that was speaking more loudly.
Of course, she was trying to defend herself. He should have expected nothing less. If there was anything that Athena had in her command more than anything else was her ability to defend herself. He should have recognized that this....self preservation...that this defense would reach farther than any other emotion. Even the affection that she claimed for him.
He realized he'd been holding in his breath, and let it out in one sharp, strong exhale. "I really do. I mean, obviously, if you cared about someone, someone so intimately involved in a situation, you'd think about their feelings, their thoughts on a certain situation for, I dunno, more than 5 seconds. Which is clearly all the time you've deemed necessary for my opinion on this matter."
Post by ATHENA EVANGELINE KASTOR on Dec 24, 2017 22:50:21 GMT -6
She stared at him for a long moment. She had thought they'd moved past things like this, saying petty things with the sole intention of hurting each other. Clearly she had been mistaken. This was only serving as a reminder of why she'd gone so long without letting anyone in, without caring about other people.
"You're. Not. Listening." Her tone dropped again, dangerous. "You don't get to have an opinion on whether or not I carry a child, even if it's yours. You don't get to dictate how my body operates. If you want it so badly, you figure out a way to carry it, because that's the only way this is happening."
He glared at her, feeling basically betrayed in that moment. Sure, he knew logically that she had to make the right decision for herself. He got that. But he wasn't thinking rationally in that moment. He was just thinking about what he wanted. it was selfish behavior, but, then again, he was a rather selfish person at times.
"Well, you seem to have your mind made up. So, I don't think I have anything else to say." He said, in a dismissive tone, returning to his desk. How he wished a bottle of alcohol could be found somewhere in this office. He cursed himself a little for getting rid of them all. Never knew when a moment like this one would crop up.