Coming into this, she had known it wouldn't be easy. She had known that he wouldn't take any aspect of what she had to tell him well. But she hadn't expected to feel guilty about it. It wasn't even his child for crying out loud. She had fucked up and now she was just trying to cover herself.
"This isn't something I want in my life, not right now. Probably not ever," she said, refusing to look him in the eye. "I'm an athlete. I can't afford to take time off for a pregnancy or a baby. I can't risk my body that way. That could be career-ending for me and it's only just begun. Surely you can understand that." She was only nineteen after all, just barely beginning to build an adult life for herself. He might be in a place where he wanted more family, but she wasn't there yet. It was one of those times that the age gap was really prominent and unsettling. What if this led to more problems later?
Post by ATHENA EVANGELINE KASTOR on Sept 20, 2017 20:25:20 GMT -6
The second letter took Athena several attempts to write. Every time she'd thought she'd finished it, she would second guess something about it and it would end up in the fireplace. However, she eventually got it right and the completed letter found a home on the corner of her desk for the day she actually worked up the guts to send it.
I'm quitting my job at the shop. There's little point in maintaining it without you being there, and Lydia is a bitch. I put up with you because I gained something from it. All she gives me is a headache. I need to get out of there before she drives me to attempting murder, because we both know I probably wouldn't walk away from that one. Oh, wait, you wouldn't know, because you've missed me realizing that I'm not as great as I like to pretend I am. I'm working on getting there though. I need to be able to back up my mouth if it comes to it.
Since you've been gone, I've done a lot of growing up. I think you'd be proud of me honestly, but who knows. I do know that if you ever decide to come back home, you probably won't even know who I am anymore. It took me a while to get here, but I'm not mad about it. I'm actually quite happy. I'm happy where I'm heading. Maybe life won't be so dark anymore.
There are a lot of things I want to talk to someone about, but they aren't things I want in a letter. Letters can get intercepted, and that's a lot of nonsense I'm not dealing with. Private matters are staying private. I'm still mad at you for disappearing on me.
Once the words left her mouth and the room was quiet again, Athena finally looked back at Sully, though that didn't last long before she was being hoisted up into the air. Maybe at some point she'd be as excited as he was, but that point was still years away if it ever happened. It wasn't very likely all things considered.
Feet back on the ground again finally, she looked at him with no mirth in her expression. It was very, very clear how unhappy she was, just from that singular look. "Well it happened," she said as she looked away from him again. She didn't want to see his expression fall when she spoke her next words. "But don't get used to the idea. It's not lasting."
Peering from her hiding spot just enough to see him, Athena felt a wide grin forming. She wasn't actually upset with him, it was all just a bit of fun. He liked fun, right? She could be fun too. Though it didn't seem he liked her particular brand of fun. That was boring. Perhaps she should take pity on him, though at the same time he was the one that had run them into the ocean.
Standing to her full height, she made her way back to where he was standing, grin still firmly in place and just managing to bit back a laugh. "It's called teasing, Sull," she told him with clear amusement. He probably wouldn't know what the meant coming from her.
The touch to her shoulder wasn't enough. Nothing was enough right now. It had been too far for too long. There was so much time to make up for that Athena wasn't even really sure where to start. What she did know was that this minimal touch wasn't cutting it. It had been too painstaking to learn how physical touch from him settled her in a way that nothing else to let it just sit at that after four months apart.
Although moving was full of sharp jabs and aches, Athena re-positioned herself on the couch so that they were touching more fully, her body curling into his side. "When have I ever accepted anything easy?" she argued though it lacked the usual edge. She just wanted to stay here and rest.
It was strange, talking with this girl. In all of the time Athena had inserted herself into Sullivan's life, she'd never really spared a thought about his child. Yet here they were, face-to-face and having a little chat. She wasn't sure she liked it all that much honestly. "There are very few things in my life that I regret, little one," she said with little care in her tone. It wasn't an answer, not really, but it was all she was giving.
"Make them see you how you want to be," she said simply. "Don't shy away from taking risks. Don't be afraid to be hated." It was something Athena had learned early on. She had also learned she could have the things she wanted even if some people disliked her. "Put in the effort to make yourself stronger and then show the world what you've become."
Post by ATHENA EVANGELINE KASTOR on Jul 30, 2017 18:02:51 GMT -6
"Pleasure to meet you Renee," Athena said agreeably. There was no reason here to be her usual self. The girl was just that. A child. No one to pick on or intimidate. Plus she did kind of like having Roswell on her side. It was fun to poke her brother with. "The two of you are welcome to sit anywhere to watch practice, which hasn't started yet because some people have no concept of punctuality..." Her eyes drifted to where the majority of the team was flying around. At least they weren't all useless. "Until then, I guess I can try to answer questions," she continued aiming the words mostly at Renee. Being this nice was weird, but she wasn't really that mad about it. They were her guests after all.
"If you value the fact that you've survived two attempts on your life, you'll refrain from calling me small or any of its synonyms," she said without missing a beat. It was, of course, a threat she would never actually go through with, considering Apollo was her favorite brother. All the same, it wouldn't stop her from hexing him a few times. Those were generally reversible without lasting damage. It would be a perfect solution to the annoying pest that was her youngest sibling.
Her eyebrow raised as Apollo all but complained about their current location. She wasn't that fond of people herself, but she knew how to deal with things. Sometimes life put you in unpleasant situations and you had to adapt. That was one of the things Athena had learned, loathe as she was to do the actual adapting bit. "Problem with where we are?" she teased him. It was hardly a problem to go elsewhere, but now that she knew Apollo disliked it she was even more determined to stay right where they were. It would be amusing to watch him squirm.
Post by ATHENA EVANGELINE KASTOR on Jul 30, 2017 17:43:30 GMT -6
If this woman hadn't been rubbing her the wrong way before, she most certainly was now. Athena bristled. Of course she did. But that was as far as she took it. She was trying to be a better person, difficult as that was. She couldn't continue to keep jumping at every piece of bait laid out before her. That was just going to put her on a fast track to a grave and she had too much left to do before she died.
Her eyes trailed the woman as she moved. The lack of trust was definite. And when she came back, Athena was frowning. "From Aaron," she repeated as she gaze moved to the packages now on the counter. She reached out slightly as though to take them but recoiled her hand shortly later. "No thank you."
Post by ATHENA EVANGELINE KASTOR on Jul 30, 2017 17:37:01 GMT -6
The way that this man was looking at her wasn't wholly unfamiliar. It was actually incredibly obvious, and Athena probably should have chosen to do something about it, but all attention was good attention if you knew how to mold it to your needs and desires. "Are you now?" she challenged with a raised eyebrow.
"Don't call me darling," she said as her tone dropped into something sharper. Her reasons for agreeing would have been obvious to anyone that really knew her. She was hardly secretive of her motives for anything. "Being one of the centerpieces in the start of something gives a certain power over those that come later. It gives you the right to say 'you wouldn't be here without my efforts'. It's a very appealing place to be."
Post by ATHENA EVANGELINE KASTOR on Jul 30, 2017 17:24:00 GMT -6
"You say trick, I say tactic." After all, it was useful when people didn't know where you were actually from when you ran the risk of pissing them off. It led them on a bit of a wild goose chase without the effort. Plus it was useful in just generally not giving anything away. "Am I really a long way from home or has home shifted countries?" she posed to him. Challenging others, even simply was always a bit of good fun.
Post by ATHENA EVANGELINE KASTOR on Jul 29, 2017 23:08:04 GMT -6
When the woman jumped at her words, Athena's mouth curled into the smallest of amused smiles. That had worked out perfectly. Most excellent. Though she wasn't sure if she really wanted a full conversation now that one was staring her in the face. Startling someone she didn't really like was all good and fun, but actually talking would probably just end like the last time had.
"Is it really so surprising?" she asked as she took a few steps closer. She supposed it would be to someone who didn't know her story and who had only seen one side of her. But in Athena's mind nowhere else made much sense.
If she hadn't already been grinning, Athena certainly would have now. This girl was smart, she would give her that much, but she was also apparently a bit explosive. Oh this was so much fun. Riling people up was always fun. "You're right, but that's not how it looked. After all, I'm not the one they punished for it," she stated simply. Although that was something that now weighed heavy on her mind, Athena wasn't going to avoid using it as a weapon here.
As the girl vented, Athena looked at her with new eyes. It was strange to see herself in someone she disliked. "So you work until you have power," she told her. "You work until you have the world groveling at your feet. But it won't happen overnight. And it sure as hell won't happen if you continue to whine like a child." Was that not what she herself was doing after all? She needed to be the best. She needed people to fear her.
Post by ATHENA EVANGELINE KASTOR on Jul 29, 2017 22:54:21 GMT -6
Attention turning again, Athena looked at the woman next to her. She wanted to deny that anything had happened, but at this point they both knew it was a lie. She would really have to work on control some more. Strangers learning her secrets wasn't something Athena was very keen on. "They're dead. There's nothing left of them to hurt."
Gaze moving to look at him, Athena was quiet. She had to tread carefully here, or as carefully as her tired, dulled mind could manage at this point. Maybe she should have stayed at the hospital until she was actually released instead of sneaking out. But she had missed the man sitting next to her so damn much that it had gotten the best of her. There had been nothing more important than seeing him the second she was free to move around on her own again.
"I don't really..." she paused to collect her thoughts again. "I don't want to talk about what they did. It was mostly a lot of stuff I didn't understand. Nonmagical stuff." It wasn't a lie at least. There was a lot of what the group was doing that was beyond her, because she'd never properly taken the time to learn beyond magic. "I don't really remember much of it anyway. It's all very fuzzy."
Play the victim, play the victim. She was doing her best so far, even if it pained her to do so. Of all people, though, she knew Sullivan wouldn't judge her too harshly. He would likely be too concerned with her wellbeing like always.