Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 27, 2017 6:13:49 GMT -6
His eyes moved to a suddenly very interesting patch of floor. "I had no way of knowing how you'd take me suddenly being there after two or three years. Or even more now. If you'd convinced yourself to hate me." He had always hoped but that had never felt like quite enough without proof to back it up. He should have known she hadn't because it was Avery and she didn't really hate anything. But he'd also never thought her capable of what she did.
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 27, 2017 1:34:01 GMT -6
Oh right, his leg. That was a thing that was being dealt with. At least it had stopped hurting when he wasn't moving at this point. He wasn't sure he wanted to try moving again just yet though. "Progress," he said a bit weakly. The closer he got to fixed, the closer they got to a painful goodbye.
"I always told myself I'd do something. But then I kept pushing it back and back, debating showing up a random day versus some special day as a surprise. Which ran the risk of ruining that day forever if it went to shit." There had been days he'd walked by the hospital just to try and work up the courage to go inside and ask for her. Or just on the street in areas he knew she loved going to in hopes of a glimpse of blonde in the crowd and some bravado. But the time never came, never felt right.
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 27, 2017 1:01:01 GMT -6
"Sounds about right, yeah." The whole lot of them had definitely been troublemakers, especially when they were placed next to Avery. She was always such an angel, even when she doing questionable things. West had never known her intentions to be anything but pure.
"No, I don't have any idea and I regret not knowing anything about that every single day." Well not necessarily the alone part, but the child part. He should have been there. And now it was probably too late. She wouldn't even know him. "What was I supposed to do? Just walk back through the door like it never happened? As if you'd have let me do that. It took two years for me to come to terms. There was no way I was walking back after that long. And now.... now what is there left to do? It's been so long. Too long."
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 27, 2017 0:44:46 GMT -6
He nearly laughed, but only nearly. "It's not as if you never did questionable things for fun. Just... significantly less frequently than me." Sometimes when he thought about things like he wondered why anyone put up with him. He was a lot of mess most of the time.
His eyes finally moved back to her. "Just because you haven't seen them doesn't mean I haven't faced things. I'm sure they don't add up to yours, trying to raise a child on your own, because that would be the hardest job in the world, but there have been things." And Merlin how much that hurt to say to someone that wasn't his own mind. He should have been there, no matter how he felt about Avery for a while. "Like... like the amount of time it took me to get over what you did, the time it took me to forgive that. Because I have forgiven you for it now. Just because you can't see my problems in the five minutes you've seen me in the last five years doesn't mean they haven't existed."
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 27, 2017 0:24:33 GMT -6
"Or maybe you're just not very scary," he shot back without missing a beat. The grapevine had very mixed opinions about Caspian Harlow after all. And in West had formed his own opinion back in the day. He'd seen the man outside of MACUSA. He knew what he was like with his family.
He shook his head, a flash of not quite anger crossing his face. "I didn't run away because I didn't want to face my responsibilities. I left because Avery hurt me in a way that seemed unforgivable at the time and I never looked back once I had forgiven it because I was worried it would happen again." Which was illogical considering it was Avery. She wouldn't do something she knew hurt him or anyone else a second time. She was too kind a soul for that. But fear was a funny thing.
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 27, 2017 0:17:38 GMT -6
He took the potion and downed it without hesitation. "Under different circumstances, I'd make a joke about you trying to get me wasted here, because you keep giving me things to drink, but that doesn't seem appropriate in the hospital." At least there was progress happening in terms of his leg functioning again. Maybe he wouldn't have to be a pirate after all. That would be rather nice.
As her words hit him, West couldn't stop a flinch. If there was anything he would regret for the rest of his life it was that moment and the things that followed it. He had unknowingly lost the best thing of his life that day. And it was his own damn fault. "If the years have taught me anything, it's that trying to erase the bad things doesn't work. The bad things are how you grow, just as much as the good." He just wished so badly that he'd known that back then. Maybe things would have gone differently if he had.
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 27, 2017 0:10:11 GMT -6
Making sure he was drawn up to his full height, just shy of Caspian's own height, West looked the other man dead in the eye, a challenge if there ever was one. "I'm not afraid of you, Harlow," he said keeping his voice surprisingly steady. Because to be very, very honest, he was kind of scared of the man. While Westley spent time practicing his dueling as a hobby, this man fought with dark wizards and witches for a living. There was a vast difference in skill here.
"Did she tell you why I walked out? Because that part is kind of important." It wasn't the path he wanted to take. He didn't want to drag that baggage into this, but he was already on the defense. He couldn't deny the rest of it. The rest of it was too true to even attempt a denial.
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 27, 2017 0:02:10 GMT -6
He squinted at her, but he didn't argue with the logic behind what she'd said. Partly because that would lead to a petty fight about colors, but mostly because she was probably right. Oh, how he'd missed this so much. How had he ever been angry enough to let this go? What a fool he'd been. "So the more yellow it gets, the less deep the wound is," he said just to organize the information in his head. That was good to know.
"Right," he said quietly, finally breaking his gaze away from her properly to look literally anywhere else in the room lest his eyes give away what he was thinking. After he'd left, West had taken the time to learn Occlumency, because while that wasn't quite the same as memory tampering, it had a similar concept and it had helped him get over things eventually. But with or without that, he'd always felt transparent around Avery when he least wanted it. This was one of those moments. But he couldn't... the ball was in his court about this entire thing. He'd been the one to walk out. But he couldn't do that to her. He couldn't push his way back in no matter how much he wanted it. He wouldn't ruin the life she'd built again after him. "Forget I said anything."
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 26, 2017 23:42:11 GMT -6
"Who said the rainbow had to be in order for it to count?" he counted with another cheeky grin. It easier to try and pretend he wasn't breaking inside all over again just being in the same room as her. "What color are you aiming for that to be? Or should it... not be a color at all?" Maybe he should take the time to learn more about healing. If he ever got around to trying a job change he'd probably need it. Hell he needed it now with his dueling tendencies.
"I'm not having this discussion with you while you're at work. But that... that doesn't mean I wouldn't ever have it with you if you really wanted it." He'd grown up enough in the last few years to understand that running wasn't always an option. And even when it was, it wasn't usually a good option.
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 26, 2017 22:34:07 GMT -6
"I didn't think it was fixed," he grumbled and cross his arms over his chest. Sometimes he acted like such a child. "I was just seeing if it was less." Because knowing if it was less or not seemed important. As she did her magic, West watched the spots on his leg. "Are we going to have to go through the full rainbow spectrum to fix this?" he asked teasingly as they changed color. Humor was another default of his when he was uncomfortable.
"Now is neither the time or place to talk about my job," he said hopefully successfully dodging having to talk about his feelings. He wasn't sure he could bring himself to for one. And for another... he didn't want to hurt her again, and he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that the truth would only hurt her.
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 26, 2017 15:03:20 GMT -6
"Well nothing hurts worse," he noted. That probably meant they were working. Or maybe they just hadn't kicked in yet. Sometimes potions took a second. He gave an experimental twitch of his leg to see if movement hurt less. "Okay, nope. None of that yet," he said with a small hiss.
"I don't hate..." He stopped because they both knew it was an obvious lie. He had always hated his job. He would always hate his job, for more reasons than he was getting into. "I could tell you why I can't do this now, but you don't want to hear it." Or maybe he just didn't want to say it and was projecting. Either way, the truth here would only be bad.
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 26, 2017 14:53:40 GMT -6
"So only good things and nothing that will make me want to die before the spell does it for me," he said as he grabbed the green one. "Bottoms up." He downed the first potion then the second in quick succession before any tastes could hit him in case they were foul tasting. It was a good start in getting him sorted out again. That was promising. Hopefully.
"I'm not sure this one is worth it. Not right now," he said softly. It would have been years ago if he hadn't been such a coward. Because maybe if he'd been happier the fight wouldn't have happened. But it had. And now what was the point in trying.
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 26, 2017 14:42:59 GMT -6
"Can we compromise at reassuring honesty?" he asked with a cheeky smile, trying to hide that he was actually nervous about this. As she moved around the room, his eyes trailed her. He never wanted to look away again. Except for when his eyes moved to the vials she was holding out. Neither of them looked very appetizing. "Can I ask what they're going to do to me before I drink them?" Not that he didn't trust her judgment. He trusted her with his life even now. But he also liked to know things.
The things he said did sound an awful lot like excuses didn't they? He sighed. "Maybe I am," he said after a moment. "Maybe I'm scared. Both of my mother and your cousin. And also of change. I've always hated change..."
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 26, 2017 6:40:53 GMT -6
"Your use of yet isn't very reassuring." It made it sound like she expected it to get that bad. He kind of really hoped it didn't. The unsureness of that made him wonder if they needed more help here but he didn't want to come across as doubting her skills so he stayed quiet on that front. It wouldn't be right to indirectly insult her within minutes of seeing her again for the first time in some years. "I could get behind being a pirate if it comes to it..."
"I never said anything about giving up. I just said that I can't do it currently." Which was true. There was no way in hell he could pull it off. Maybe in a few years. Or maybe in a few years he would have an even less chance and just never get in. Maybe he should just go ahead and try and fail. Then at least he could say that he had tried and it would be better. And then Avery would stop looking at him like that when his job came up. ...Which implied she was still around beyond today He could get behind that if she was willing.
Post by WESTLEY PATRICK ELWOOD on Dec 26, 2017 2:11:36 GMT -6
Deeper than the surface. That left a vaguely sour taste in his mouth. Good that he hadn't tried anything then. It would have likely either made it worse or just masked the real problem. "Should we just chop it off now and call it done with?" he joked very weakly. He did quite like having two functional legs though. A magical replacement leg didn't seem as appealing. At least the next spell brought a little good news? "I'm actually pretty sure it is illegal..." He knew basically all of the legal spells at this point and this wasn't one of them.
"Maybe it used to be wont." He had matured enough in the last five years to be able to admit that now. It had always been about doing the one thing that kept his parents even a little off his back. If he worked the job they wanted, they didn't harp at him about Avery as much. But that clearly wasn't the case anymore. Now they spent all of their time trying to find him a new girl, one they approved of so their son could have exactly the life they wanted. "As much as I'd love to change jobs, I really doubt your cousin would let me into his department." It had nothing to do with whatever persona she was talking about that he was pretty sure didn't exist. Bad boys did not work in law offices.